Ok, we need to talk about snowHeads

Hi everyone,
I’m posting this here because I’m at my wit’s end and could really use some advice from anyone who’s been through something similar or has ideas on how to move forward. My daughter, Joules, is 15, and we’ve always been super close, especially when we’re out skiing together. We’ve been hitting the slopes since she was little, and it’s our thing. After my divorce, it’s just been the two of us in Bristol, getting by with my catering business, but there’s always been this void, you know?

A few years ago, Joules found this UK ski club forum online, called snowHeads, full of people as obsessed with skiing as we are. She loved it, and I thought it sounded like a great community for us to join. She was so excited about one of their trips to the Italian Alps, and I thought, why not? A mother-daughter ski holiday sounded like just what we needed.

The trip started out amazing. Joules was loving it, and I was right there with her, both of us laughing and enjoying every moment. There was this guy on the forum, Masque, who was a bit of a star in the group, super charming, always a laugh. He’d been messaging Joules before the trip, and encouraging her to convince me to join. On the trip, we met him, he was all smiles and charisma, but didn't look at all as I'd imagined. Quite frankly, he was fat and ugly. But he was friendly enough.

On the last night, at a big party at the hotel, they slipped away, and I didn’t even notice. When we got back home, she had changed. She was quiet, glued to her phone all the time. A week later, she broke down and told me she slept with Masque. She said he told her he loved her, but now he’s completely ghosted her. I was devastated. I tried to explain that he took advantage of her, that what happened wasn’t okay, but she got so angry, insisting it was her choice. We had a huge fight, and now she barely speaks to me.

I contacted the police, but they said Italy’s age of consent is 14 and as Joules claimed it was consensual, they couldn't do anything. After that, Joules spiralled. One night, I found her with an empty pill bottle, she tried to take her own life. She’s now been sectioned under the Mental Health Act, and seeing her in that hospital bed, so lifeless, is tearing me apart.

I tried reaching out to Masque on the forum, but he’s ignoring me. Everyone uses pseudonyms, so I had no idea who he really was. My ex-husband hired a private investigator, who tracked him down, his real name is now known to us, but he’s apparently left for the USA. I feel so helpless sitting by Joule's bed, holding her hand, not knowing how to fix this.

I’m desperate for advice. How do I even begin to process this myself or find some kind of closure when this man is out of reach? Has anyone dealt with something like this? Are there resources, support groups, or legal options in the UK I might not have considered? Any advice on how to move forward would mean the world. I feel like I’m drowning.
Thank you,

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Hi all, my complaint was (from a few years ago) really quite a serious one, involving my daughter getting unwanted attention on one of their bashes from an older man who was/is (still) extremely popular. I was, of course totally oblivious to what was happening. I did wonder why she had become a bit withdrawn but put it down to other reasons. She did share this with my partner (swearing her to secrecy) and bless her she did her best to deal with it while keeping me out of it. Essentially, my partner was told by other bashers that 'Oh he's harmless' 'He does it to everyone' etc. She was just warned not to make a fuss [I'm shaking as I type]. She was blanked by Graham ('no time to talk to you now, sorry') to the point where I have to wonder if he knows and just allows it to go on. It seems if you're popular then you can do what you like. Daughter refused to have the police involved. I've ended up with depression. @thehole 

@thehole, what an awful thing to happen! 

I'd planned on maybe going on Bashes in the future, if the dates worked, but not now having read that.

Reading the latest on the trademark war between sHs and the SCGB and it's just another example of how they twist the truth to suit their agenda, which is obviously to play their part in destroying the SCGB. I agree with what others have said, they have no moral compass. Also the 'don't you know who we are?' arrogance is just laughable. @FireFly X-19   

Still no resolution of the mates rates deal I entered into with a high post count sH. For those that don't know, we had both agreed a reciprocal arrangement where I supplies and built an 8x8 summer house and in return he was going to get my new website up and running, maintain it for a year while teaching me how to run and maintain it for the future. I completed my side of the deal 6 months ago, included doing some nit picky snags, but to date all he's done is produce a turd of a website that keeps fallowing over.

It looks and operates nothing like he promised and now he's getting all itty with me, saying he's given all the time he allowed for the project. I've got someone else to look at it and they have said it looks like it was coded by a toddler!

Of course some of his mates are bullying me now, which seems to be the SOP of the in crowd of snowHeads. @FireFly X-19

More evidence that snowHeads is evading tax liability?

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@Dravot, Snowheads is a bit like Fools and Horses:
No income tax
No Vat
No money back
No guarantee .''

https://snowheads.com/ski-forum/viewtopic.php?t=155471&start=120 @Little_Admin

https://snowheads.com/ski-forum/viewtopic.php?t=155471&start=120 yes, very illuminating. Graham/admin doesn't like to compare Freshtracks to his offering. I wonder why? Essentially, with the SCGB's Prem Party you get more included, 6 days with guides, flights, transfers, half board, better hotel. When you cost it all out, as I've done in the past, the SCGB end up being better value, ie, they cost more but not that much more. You pay a bit more, but the package is a lot better than the basic Bash cost + extras. No wonder Graham/admin doesn't like to compare.

In fact, what he does is try to present his holidays as being for the masses and the SCGB's as being for old rich people. He'd be torn to shreds if he said stuff like that outside of his own comfortable clique of, let's face it, not very nice people, if the truth be told. @Truth Slayer

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@Truth Slayer wrote: Why are people calling the latest sHs v SCGB spat copryrightgate? It's a trademark 'dispute'.

Yep, my mistake. So funny that they have now started arguing amoungst themselves over the history of their feud  with the SCGB! Saddest bunch ever? @Daz

Just catching up on trademarkgate and I'm able to name [name redacted] as one [name redacted]. I had a load of trouble with that guy when I was resort repping for the SCGB a few years ago. Really horrible man. @Lizza

ROTFLMAO!  the usual suspects are total butt hurt by the fact Mr Harris didn't know who they were.  @Tee$4-2

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Trouble is, when you book a snowHeads Bash, snowHeads is just acting as a booking agent. Your contract is actually with the hotel, guide or ski school. Any complainants are just told to take it up with the primary party and you are left hanging. If you make a fuss, then you might as well move to Coventry. There's no consumer protection beyond what you'd get from your credit card company. @unhappy camper

@unhappy camper, that's their claim but, and it's a big but, they collect money from the PAX, retain a margin and pass the balance onto the supplier, which makes them a package tour operator. Oh yeah, and it's against the law to operate like that and not be part of one of the industry bounding schemes. @TexMex654321

What happened about the tax evasion accusations? I see goldsmith is still making them on his facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/SnowHeadsConfidential

Now it seems DG has been blocked from logging onto snowHeads. The original accusation did seem a bit cheap but the reaction to it does make me wonder. No smoke etc. @old an'

Good point re the overreaction. Who else remembers DG writing an article about Graham (fair journalism, given his claimed position within recreational skiing and boarding scene) only for it to be removed? I've also heard that Graham can't travel to the US due to a criminal record (drugs?). So I wonder if he can go to the EU now the UK is a third country? He certainly won't get a work visa in the EU with a drugs related conviction. It will be interesting to see if he leaves the UK this season or tries to run things remotely.

I've also heard that he's considering selling snowHeads due to 'complications arising from Brexit' so it's not that hard to put two and two together. @TexMex654321

I'm intrigued by the latest twist in the copyrightgate saga. Apparently the SCGB have been trying to use cancer to kill snowHeads. [edit] Just rereading, apparently Gerry said 'I hope you die of cancer' to someone, no quote though. More snowHead 'Lore' based on fiction?

I do find much of what they say rather fantastical. An attempt at copyright piracy is obviously going to leave a paper trail so why would the SCGB openly do that? The ****-up explanation seems much more likely.   @old 'an

@old 'an, I had similar rubbish made up about me by certain snowHeads. I wouldn't put money on anything they say as being true. If there was any truth to it then they'd be producing proof in the way of quotes. @Fat Boy Dim

Yes, I understand that there's good and bad in all groups, its just that sH has totally lost it's way. Now it's about who's the biggest bully with the biggest group of followers. Daz

Hi Daz, reluctantly I have to kind of agree with you. The annoying thing is it could all be fixes and it would be a much more friendly place. @66UK

Hi all, my complaint was (from a few years ago) really quite a serious one, involving my daughter getting unwanted attention on one of their bashes from an older man who was/is (still) extremely popular. I was, of course totally oblivious to what was happening. I did wonder why she had become a bit withdrawn but put it down to other reasons. She did share this with my partner (swearing her to secrecy) and bless her she did her best to deal with it while keeping me out of it. Essentially, my partner was told by other bashers that 'Oh he's harmless' 'He does it to everyone' etc. She was just warned not to make a fuss [I'm shaking as I type]. She was blanked by Graham ('no time to talk to you now, sorry') to the point where I have to wonder if he knows and just allows it to go on. It seems if you're popular then you can do what you like. Daughter refused to have the police involved. I've ended up with depression. @thehole

My take on the snowHeads copyright scandal. You'd think admin would have copyrighted 'snowHeads' years ago, so it's obvious to me that he probably realised he couldn't. Seems to me that the term originated in google groups many years ago and he lifted it from their. Pretty much anyone could now open a forum called snowHeads? @SciMan

Jesus, @thehole, that is terrible. I've got my own reasons for never wanting to go on anther of their bashes but, well, JESUS!

Wow! I know snowHeads are a law unto themselves but talking down that type of behaviour? Admin did you change the original post by @thehole to say 'unwanted attention' rather than 'unwanted touching' which I'm sure it read originally? @Ex-sH

Admin note: no I didn't alter anything.

Last I checked we were nearly 100 in number. That's easily enough to form a breakaway group and, given the copyright issue flagged up by the SCGB, we have every right to use the snowHeads title. We can even run Bashes which will get right up the noses of some. @321go

PS, double Jesus for what happened to your daughter, @thehole